I re-read some of the things that I’ve written in this blog, which chronicles most of my sophomore and junior years of college.
I promise you, I’m significantly less ignorant, pompous and pants-on-head stupid now than when these almost banal scribblings suggest. Pinky swear.
After a long summer of living in this Apartment by myself, I now have two extremely talented roommates to annoy all the neighbors with. This is what we created in our first night together.
(Otherside (Red Hot Chili Peppers Cover) - The Noise in Apartment 17 D - This Is What We’re In For (2012))
Where do you go after you go to space?
Mario has been around for over thirty years now. He started off jumping over barrels thrown by an ape that would eventually start wearing a tie. He then started knocking turtles and crabs around in pipes. He went on to start saving princesses from giant turtles, frogs, and aliens. He liberated an entire castle by conquering worlds found within paintings. He cleaned up an entire tropical island with a backpack that shoots water. Then he went to space. He had one of the most amazing adventures in his life, and it was so good, he went to space again and brought along his dinosaur friend. Where does he go next?
What was widely considered the last great Sonic gameuntil Sonic Colors came around a decade later? Sonic Adventure 2. Where does that story end? In Space. Where’s the final battle in Beyond Good and Evil? Space. Where’s the last portal shot at in Portal 2? The Moon. What’s one of the greatest moments in all of American History? Getting people on the Moon. What’s the last Magic Tree House book I remember reading? Those lucky brats went to Goddamn SPACE.
How do you make anything epic? Just go to space. Was the Friday the 13th series getting too stale? Let’s just send Jason to space. The best modern day example of The Hero’s Journey? Star Wars, which, my sources tell me, takes place in SPAAACE.
Did anyone ever play Crus’n World? The arcade version didn’t, but the N64 one?
Ends on The Moon.
Hydro Thunder Hurricane?
Area 51.
What has Lord British done since he went to the Moon?
Not much.
Where is the Marvel Cinematic Universe going in the next two years?
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
There is a rather large part of me that expects The Dark Knight Rises to end with Batman and Bane getting into a fist fight atop a rocket leaving the atmosphere, and the pair’s battle to the death continues uninterrupted by the constraints of gravity (remember, this is totally plausible, because, as we know, Batman Can Breathe In Space.) It’s the peak of escalation. It’s the highest point in a narrative, and it’s damn hard to do much else after you get back from space.
Because that’s the problem. In fiction, you expect things to get bigger, and bigger, and bigger as you move from installment to installment. The first movie ends with the hero fighting against an army of a hundred men. The second movie, a thousand. The third? A thousand and one. In Space.
But in reality? You still have things to do after you go to space, they’re just not as exciting. You know, since it’s not space and all. Because when it comes to this summer, I feel like I was in space a little while ago. Things were exciting. Things were happening. Everyday brought a new adventure. Now? It’s the same ol’ beaver suit. It’s the same ol’ empty apartment. It’s the same ol’ “Wanna do stuff?” / “Sorry, got work, also no money.” exchange.
I know things will get good and exciting once again once the semester starts up again, but I really hope I haven’t gone to space just yet this summer. I’ve only experienced Super Mario Sunshine. I just know it. I’m just waiting for the biggest adventure this summer can bring. I’m waiting for Bowser to lift Peach’s Castle up into the cosmos.
The beginning of this summer was Fellowship. The end, if all goes according to plan, will be Return. But, right now is the boring part of Two Towers. And I’d really like a fast-forward button right about now.
I know that last one there didn’t fit the theme, but it made me start thinking about Space Hobbits. They’re Hobbits, but in Space. I should write this shit down somewhere.
d-ho:
Zach, I was typing this in your ask box, but my opinions are evidently too long to be contained in a tumblr message, so here you have it.
I grew up on Marvel, upon discovering Spider-Man at a young age (I don’t remember exactly when, but it was at some point in later elementary school) and when the Sam RaimiSpider-Mancame out in the summer of 2002, it began a decade long love affair with all things Marvel (and really, most things comic book), and I always have and always will have a soft spot for Peter Parker. And I can honestly say I enjoyedThe Amazing Spider-Man, despite its seeming unpopularity with critics and comic book fans alike. That isn’t to say I would “live and die by this movie,” nor that it’s a perfect film by any means, but I left the theater with a sense of satisfaction and I am not at all mad about it. Here are some of my discussion points:
This is all well and good and all, and I fully agree on the motivations of The Lizard and how that was sloppy and such. Now, I have three very important points I’d like to make here. But, I’m going to ask you them first.
What about Peter Parker changes from the beginning to the movie, to the end? Is there anything in his behavior that changes over the course of the film, and if there is, what is the motivation for the change?
How does the relationship between Gwen and Peter change in this movie? Where do they start off? Why do they end up together? How does their relationship grow? Why do they want to stay together at the end of the movie? Why should the audience care?
What is learned? What does anyone get out of anything from this movie? A very major line is missing from this movie, but is the lesson it carries still intact?
As an English Major, my dear, I’m sure I just gave you a field day. Or a headache. One of the two.
I don’t think it’s any big secret that I do not like The Amazing Spider-Man. In fact, I don’t think I could make that fact any clearer, unless I rented every skywriting airplane in the world and made sure everyone could see the sentence “ZACH RICH THINKS THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN IS AN ARTLESS PIECE OF SHIT” from every corner of the sky. I started writing my own long, long, long, long essay about why I think the movie fails at every level, as a movie, as a superhero story, as a character study, and as a reboot, but honestly, there’s plenty of essays, videos, and reviews that all share my opinion on the film and can explain why I hate it in so many ways better than I can (and tend to use the term “THE UNTOLD STORY” in a mocking sense far less, which they could all have used much more often.). I’m done talking about why I think it’s a bad movie. I’ve tweeted about that enough times. I want to find out about the one thing that has been left unexplained to me about this movie.
Why do you people like it? If people are willing to live and die by this film, what is it that makes everyone turn heads when all I want to do to this film is spit acid upon it and watch it burn? I am genuinely interested. You all know why I hate it. Now tell me why you like it.
This summer of relaxation and fun has taken a turn towards the too much relaxation and the not enough fun. Although there is still several fun things going around, I can’t help but begin to feela tad pent-up, and ready to make like a tree and shuffle off to someplace else. Which is all the more hilarious now that my car (which I bought five months ago) is currently broken down. Irony, you funky, funky creature.
That has, however, given me time to do a little gaming. Some notes:
- Mass Effect 3’s Extended Cut DLC did just what I wanted it to do. Provide a little more clarity, and fix the dumbest parts of the original ending. (The Normandy running away out of the blue, the inferred holocaust, etc.) I stuck to the ending I picked the first time around, the Control ending, and felt much more satisfied with my choice, now that I know my Sheperd’s sacrifice was an eternally good thing. I didn’t choose it, but I’m actually a fan of the new “Refusal” ending, considering when I had finished the game the first time around, that was the road I really wanted to take. For me, the EC does exactly what I wanted it to do; I’ll likely be taking some time this summer to replay the entire trilogy; maybe kick it up to Insanity difficulty, and take a look at this Fem!Shep everyone’s been totally riffing about.
- I’ve given up trying to find a steady quartet to play through Rayman Origins with, as I have played through the first five levels six times now, and really just want toplay through this utterly beautiful game. Two people is like four people… right?
- I might need to bite the bullet and actually play through a copy of Kingdom Hearts: Re-Coded to satisfy my craving to just go to Dream Drop Distance’s TV Tropes page and spoil every damn thing for myself. The demo on the 3DS Shop did little to sustain me. I want my World Ends With You cameos, and I want them NOW.
- What I also recently obtained from the 3DS Shop was the original GBC Rayman, a game I owned as a kid, but sold after not being able to complete the third stage (The one with the rising water.) Now that I have finally beaten this stage, I think it is safe to call myself an adult now.
- I have a review copy of Penny Arcade Adventures 3. The only reason I’m not playing it right now is due to my fears of death by laughter.
- Rock Band is following me on Twitter. I asked them if they had any Rock Band Blitz news coming up soon. They said “Soon. I promise.” Don’t lie to me, Rock Band. Don’t you lie to me. (Also, more Live, Bush, and introduce a little Minus the Bear for me, will ya?)
Tonight, I’m seeing Fountains of Wayne in concert. I’m trying to enjoy the mental silence right now, for after this night, I fear Stacy’s Mom will be playing on repeat for the next twenty years of my life.
Just saw these guys live today at a Thursday at the Harbor Concert in Buffalo. Absolutely floored me; haven’t had this much fun in seeing a band I didn’t know in a long time.
(Too Much - Sister Sparrow and the Dirty Birds - Pound of Dirt (2012))
It’s weird to be payed to do what you love.
I’ve worked five years as a lifeguard. I loved that job, but it wasn’t because I loved being a lifeguard. I had strong friendships there. I was spending time with people I loved to spend time with, goofing off and being generally zany both in and out of the dreaded eye of the public. When I actually had to sit in the chair, and watch fat, hairy old men, and their fat kids sucking down their fifth hot dog of the hour, in the sweltering heat of the CNY sun, swim in piss water 20 minutes at a time, well, that wasn’t fun. And the boss wasn’t fun. She was a raccoon. We all knew this. I will remember that job for the rainy days where we sat in the guardhouse and played board games. I will remember that job for the games of water polo that were played instead of lifeguard drills. I will remember the running jokes, and the hierarchy, and the Guards of the Rectangular Table. I will remember my friends. I won’t remember lifeguarding. That job is dead; we have all moved on. For the Van Buren Pool, I can’t go home again.
This job though? I end most days by dancing like a moron in the middle of a field. With a microphone. With free reign to say whatever I damn well please (as long as it’s family friendly and is sure to make someone who is not me laugh.). I spend most of my day in a Beaver suit. I work at the same place as roller coasters. I work at a place that was one of my favorite places to go as a child. I’m an Ascended Fanboy of Darien Lake. It’s nuts. And it makes me happy.
I’m meeting wonderful new people. I am making random people happy. I am making myself happy. I am making money doing all of that. This is what I want from life. And I hope I never get used to this feeling.
Everything that is old is new again.
The first two rock albums I got into when I was about 10 or 11 was 3 Doors Down’s The Better Life and Nickelback’s Silver Side Up. I spent several years of my life loving the hell out of these albums, and then disowning Silver Side Up as soon as it became a major target of ridicule among my peers. The Better Life, luckily, never had to suffer that fate. And while I agree that yes, The Long Road isn’t all that great, and everything else after that is complete and total shit, I’ve still, all my life, really just enjoyed Silver Side Up. It’s no The Colour and the Shape, and it’s no Fear of a Blank Planet, but that doesn’t mean I have to hate it. It’s mindless rock and roll. It’s catchy. There’s some cool beats. I shouldn’t have to fear liking an early Nickelback album. So, I won’t anymore. I’m gonna listen to it in the car when I’m driving to work in half an hour. I’m gonna belt “How You Remind Me”. I don’t give a fuck, Kevin.
I’ve been buying a lot of albums lately. I think one of my favorite experiences I’ve had in these college years is finding songs I heard on the Radio in my preteen years, totally forgetting them, but then finding them again as I download random albums and give them a listen through. The last song I heard as I dropped off the mini-van I had called my car for three years (The Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. I don’t think anyone ever understood the reference when I called it that.) was Incubus’s “Megalomaniac”, a song I had not heard since maybe 2005. I heard Stone Sour’s “Bother” for the first time in years while waiting in a Subway. I’ve had MpMx’s “Play it Loud” sitting in my iTunes for months and I never noticed it until shuffle played its cards right. I wish I could go back to the days of being huddled close to the radio, long after bedtime, clutching my pink Game Boy Advance with Advance Wars popped in, and hear some of these songs for the first time again. There is such beauty in music, but there is so much more beauty in a song connected to a simple, yet wonderful memory.
I’ve been waiting for a semester that would finally challenge me, and not leave me stagnant and going through the motions, and holy shit did this one deliver. From day one, I had very few dull moments. I was in a show that allowed me to remember that’s it’s really okay sometimes to just drop the pretense and have fun on stage. I struck out of my comfort zone and made friends with so many people I didn’t think I would have anything in common with. I continued to broaden my horizons, and do more with my life and talents than I ever thought I would be able to when I first moved to Buffalo.
This is the semester where I convinced at least 40 people to jump into a lake on a chilly May night. This is the semester I danced on a car. This is the semester where I got my very own car, that wasn’t a hand-me-down. This is the semester where I dressed a man up in a diaper, and made him pour milk all over himself, then sat in a diaper soaked with sour milk for another two hours (and be mostly okay with it cause he liked the part I wrote him.). This is the semester where I learned more about Ducks than I ever wanted to, and can never look at them the same way again. This is the semester where I learned to say “no” to people (for things besides drugs). This is the semester where I learned that I still don’t know nothing about anything, and yet be totally okay with it. This is the semester where I learned to stop sweating over the minor details and chill the fuck out. I’m growing up. I really am. But, I’m still being a kid. Cause I’m gonna go nutso if I really ever become a total grown-up. (Did you watch the Scavenger Hunt trailer?
My life is starting to go a little crazy again. I’m living in Buffalo for the entire summer by myself in a new apartment with no roommates till school, and I’m quickly coming to find that I’m going to have significantly fewer friends up here than I thought. But, I’m also going to have an insanely fun job. I’m being paid to perform now. How awesome is that? Yesterday, I officially quit my lifeguarding job I had for five years. I celebrated by jumping up and down on my bed and giggling like a little girl for half-an-hour, then getting a haircut for the first time in half-a-year, and buying new t-shirts. Tomorrow, I’m gonna apply for my new apartment (something I should really do, considering my current lease ends in 15 days), then go see the greatest movie ever for a second time with my friend who I’m sure has never picked up a superhero comic in her life (BUT WILL LOVE THIS MOVIE IF SHE KNOWS WHAT’S GOOD FOR HER). Then, who knows? My first show at Darien opens this weekend. It’s a dance party with a man in a bear suit. I might be the man in the bear suit. Who knows?
I think that’s the theme of the summer. Who knows? There’s no school, there’s less work, and there’s a lot more time. Time to breathe. Time to relax. Time to write. Time to play. It’s my last summer vacation ever. I might as well make the best of it.
